Why my singleness matters.

Confession: Until a few months ago, I was plagued by loneliness.

I have always felt that way, even as a small child in preschool and in my elementary years. I always had a small circle of friends and when I came to college I met people that I will always hold dear, but I was lonely. It loomed day in a day out, sometimes going away, but never failing to rear its ugly head at the right time. During high school I thought, “Gosh, if I could just get a boyfriend, things would be right.” High school came and went.  I didn’t come to college for my MRS degree, but I thought maybe somebody would crop up. I’m on a Christian college campus, after all. People tend to pair off like, I don’t know, things that pair off. Like birds.

A few months ago, I was sitting in a Taco Bell drive-thru at a somewhat late hour. It was then that an epiphany arrived: Single women (and men) can go to Taco Bell any dang time they want. Married (or even those in a committed relationship) women, probably not without some disturbance. It was then, paired with some of the lessons I learned with help from friends, that being a single woman is fine. It’s just fine. That pesky line from the Apostle Paul finally made some sense as I was lodged in the drive-thru: “I want to you to be free from concerns, one who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord” (I Cor 7:32, NASB).

My singleness really matters. There are so many things that I can achieve for the kingdom of God through my status as a single person. Though I believe that one day I will marry, I look forward to using my singleness for Christ until that day arrives (and beyond). And if I never marry, I am at peace with it. Despite what people ask about a lack of “marital relations,” I simply say that my body does not belong to myself and that nobody ever died from not having sex.

Finally, wherever you are in your relationships dear reader, I hope you find peace. More specifically, I hope you find the peace that only Christ can give.

Off-topic moment: Enjoy “All Delighted People” from Sufjan Stevens. All 11 minutes. 


4 thoughts on “Why my singleness matters.

  1. *hugs*

    Been there, hun, and know the feeling. 🙂

    Generally, as long as I remember to get him something too, my husband isn’t so bad about me going out. Trying to get him to come along is the REAL challenge. -_-;;; (He’s something of a homebody.)

  2. You have a great point of view about singleness! I mentioned to my small group last night that I recently made the decision to start saying “if i get married,” instead of “when I get married” in conversation. I think that God can use us single ladies in so many great ways to bless others and it’s a shame when we dwell over not being married instead of thanking Him for the other ways that He has blessed us.

  3. You have a great view towards singleness and thank you for sharing it! I recently decided to start saying “if I get married,” instead of “when I get married” in conversation. I think that God can use single women in amazing ways and it’s shame when we dwell on the fact that we aren’t married.

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