Confession: Until a few months ago, I was plagued by loneliness.
I have always felt that way, even as a small child in preschool and in my elementary years. I always had a small circle of friends and when I came to college I met people that I will always hold dear, but I was lonely. It loomed day in a day out, sometimes going away, but never failing to rear its ugly head at the right time. During high school I thought, “Gosh, if I could just get a boyfriend, things would be right.” High school came and went. I didn’t come to college for my MRS degree, but I thought maybe somebody would crop up. I’m on a Christian college campus, after all. People tend to pair off like, I don’t know, things that pair off. Like birds.
A few months ago, I was sitting in a Taco Bell drive-thru at a somewhat late hour. It was then that an epiphany arrived: Single women (and men) can go to Taco Bell any dang time they want. Married (or even those in a committed relationship) women, probably not without some disturbance. It was then, paired with some of the lessons I learned with help from friends, that being a single woman is fine. It’s just fine. That pesky line from the Apostle Paul finally made some sense as I was lodged in the drive-thru: “I want to you to be free from concerns, one who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord” (I Cor 7:32, NASB).
My singleness really matters. There are so many things that I can achieve for the kingdom of God through my status as a single person. Though I believe that one day I will marry, I look forward to using my singleness for Christ until that day arrives (and beyond). And if I never marry, I am at peace with it. Despite what people ask about a lack of “marital relations,” I simply say that my body does not belong to myself and that nobody ever died from not having sex.
Finally, wherever you are in your relationships dear reader, I hope you find peace. More specifically, I hope you find the peace that only Christ can give.
Off-topic moment: Enjoy “All Delighted People” from Sufjan Stevens. All 11 minutes.