Perhaps this year.

I sit, right now, on the edge of the end. About this time last year, I posted about what the new year (2011) would bring in terms of accomplishments and hindrances. I survived both academic semesters, including a haul of classes and student teaching. I took the GRE (twice, mind you), and began the application process to three graduate schools and for a Fulbright grant. In fact, this year has also been stressful. I sometimes worry about if I’ll get accepted or even “make it” in graduate school or if I’ll be a good high school teacher. As a whole, I’ve spent quite a bit of time worrying about far, distant things.

I always say that I despise New Year’s resolution, but I believe that since I am near the end of a chapter of my life (college), it would be appropriate to evaluate what I want to accomplish in the new year. Perhaps, with a short to-do list for 2012, this year will be different:

1. Maintaining contentment. For the past year, I’ve finally become more content with my life, especially my singleness. I’ve feared that I may never marry or find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe it’s a typical “girl” thing, but for years the thought of an unmarried life worried me. However, this past year, like a rock on the head, I realized that I can live a perfectly whole life for Christ without a spouse. This year, I want to maintain my contentment and focus more on what Christ wants from me.

2. Develop community. I’m exceptional at acting like I don’t need people. In fact, I need people, I need community. As an introvert, I’m painfully shy in new or awkward social situations. This year, I want to make more of an effort to surround myself with people who will help me in my life journey, especially if I skip along to graduate school. I need people, even when I don’t think I do.

3. Make room for Jesus. This morning, I allotted 30 minute of silence for Bible reading and prayer. It wasn’t easy. I want to maintain this habit for the year, but I know it will be difficult. Hopefully, rather than talking about “making room for Jesus” in my mornings, I’ll actually do it. I also want to work on praying for others. For reasons unknown to me, I find it very hard to pray for others. Through the grace of our Lord, I’ll work on my prayer life.

4. Budgeting. A little more practical, and I don’t really spend much money. In fact, my expenses are mostly for food and my monthly cell phone bill, and I always have most of my check left over. However, I am an utter failure at giving back part of my check to the Lord in one way or another. It’s time to ditch the excuses and to start being a cheerful giver.

*  Also, in addition to giving back, I also want to start setting aside more to my “after graduation account.” Saving is also a good habit to begin.

5. More sleep. I love to sleep, yet I’m always tired. I know it’s because I don’t get to bed early enough at night. Rather it’s a good book or stress, I can never seem to get to bed at 9p. It’s always more like 11p or midnight. Though it may be a stretch, I’m going to work on getting enough sleep.

Five things. That’s all I have for this new year, and hopefully this list will help me develop as a Christian steward of my surroundings. Will I fail? Yes. Will undertaking these tasks be worth it? Yes.

Perhaps this year. Perhaps.

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2 thoughts on “Perhaps this year.

  1. Community is one I struggle w/ quite a bit! I feel that God wired me to be more of a “loner” and yet I feel He is calling me into more and more community situations as of late- trying not to go kicking and screaming as much-LOL !! Happy 2012 to you!!

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