It’s when we’re alone.

I pride myself on being able to go at it alone.

I can eat alone, read alone, study alone, walk to class alone, live alone, and I don’t even need a large posse of my fellow females to go to the bathroom with me. In elementary school, I played on the playground alone. Throughout middle and high school, I liked sitting on the bus alone and eventually driving to school in solitude. Unlike many of my peers that crave social connection and high levels of interaction, I am often happy sitting alone with myself or with a few people. Large groups just make me nervous.

For example, when I first began college, I found myself becoming very anxious in busy, hectic places such as my campus’ cafeteria. I remember one specific time during my very first semester where I went to eat lunch (alone, no doubt), but when I entered the room, I found myself overwhelmed. People were milling everywhere, being corralled like cattle ready for feed. I was only a few weeks old in my college life, so I had no idea what to do. I couldn’t just sit down where I wanted because I feared I would be sitting in someone’s “spot.” Of course, I could eat alone, but I would be lost in a sea of unfamiliar faces. After standing for what seemed to be an eternal thirty seconds in the midst of chaos and doom, I grabbed a styrofoam tray, got what I wanted to eat, and dashed out of the cafeteria and had my lunch on a bench. It was awkward, and that experience has stayed with me, even though it happened almost two and a half years ago.

Though that awkward, panicked moment lasted about thirty seconds, it somewhat imparted to me the value of having someone along for the ride. Yes, I often desire to work alone when group projects are called for and I would rather hash out a term paper in quiet, but total  isolation can never be a good thing. It’s when we’re alone when we realize this.

After all, it’s probably better to be a panicked group of two in a crowded cafeteria than to eat lunch on a bench.



One thought on “It’s when we’re alone.

  1. While I understand, and can even relate to, your preference for solitude; we were not made to be alone. We are programmed to seek out and need fellowship with others. After all, “It is not good for man to be alone”.

    Believe me though, sometimes we need that solitude to recharge. It is nice to know that we are never truly alone though. Isn’t it?

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