I’ve just completed my second week of classes and I’m exhausted. I’m genuinely tired, but I don’t miss the laze of summer one bit. Though this weekend is a “long” one, I plan on utilizing every minute possible for getting a head start on papers and assignments. Since the week started, I have already attended two TA sessions at the local middle school and begin at the local high school next week.
In the meantime, I’ve been thinking. That’s nothing new, but I’ve been contemplating the future. I ask myself everyday if I’m on the “right path” that we’re all taught to seek, but at the end of the day, it all comes together. I’m still preparing for the Praxis teaching licensure exams and need to begin studying the GRE. I hate tests like the Praxis and the GRE because I freak out. Not in an insane sense, but my hands start to sweat and I fear plunging into what I believe to be mediocrity. I get scared that I won’t be able to cut it in graduate school, teaching, or even in the classes I’m in this semster. Life is full of fear, and nobody bothers to tell anybody this truth. College brochures show nice campuses and smiling faces, no lies there, but sometimes the journey gets scary and seems neverending.
However, I think if I had to set the tone of this semester and this week, it would be “conquering fear.” Fear of failure. Fear of disappointment. Fear of the unknown. Fear of drastic change. All of these things happen in our lives, but I’m glad this second week brought it to the light of day for me. I may not be able to handle fear as well as I’d like, but that’s why I pray to a God who listens to His children.